With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
