with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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