maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
