my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
