I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
