and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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