i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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