SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
