Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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