i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
