went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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