I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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