your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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