So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
