I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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