HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
