I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
