so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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