I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
