haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
