They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
