I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
