you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize