Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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