Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
