Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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