What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
