shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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