I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
