Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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