you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
