and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I want her autograph on my taint
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
