She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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