I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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