his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
