Who wears a wallet chain?!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize