either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
