So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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