dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I smell like Dick and happiness
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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