I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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