there's paper in my vomit.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
