Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize