I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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