dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
