I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
