yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
is that a dick in a sweater?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
