we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize