Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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