in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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