part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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