i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
