we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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