so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
