ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
