I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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