I need help removing her.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
