eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize