If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
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