Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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