Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Randomize