Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
