our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
