She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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